UNICORNS

There are some important things y’all should know about me, such as:

  1. I like tacos.
  2. My boggart would be a ventriloquist dummy.
  3. I have a tremendous mild addiction to Dr. Pepper, surpassed only by my addiction to
  4. 30 ROCK.

But the most important thing of all?

I love unicorns.

YES.

I LOVE THEM ALL:

retro, ironically appreciated, robots-ride-them, zombies-vs.-them unicorns

unicorns who will mess your shiz up with their noble powers

and even the girlie unicorns who wear flowers and stuff

Girlie unicorns with MAJESTIC HAIR need love, too.

But beware, unicorns and unicorn admirers alike…

I have another piece of important information for you:

Yeah. Watch out for this scum, y’all.


32 Responses to “UNICORNS”

  1. Starr Hoffman March 29, 2011 at 11:02 pm #

    this is the essence of what is amazing about you.
    also: UNICORNZ R GRATE.

    • Claire March 30, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

      WE SHOULD GET ONE AS A PET AMIRITE

  2. Kendra March 30, 2011 at 11:17 am #

    Down with Marky Mark! Love the unicorns!

    • Claire March 30, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

      I appreciate your SOLIDARITY, my good woman. *fist bump*

  3. Serena March 30, 2011 at 3:42 pm #

    Marky Mark, Y U NO LIEK UNICORNS?

    Seriously. I think I love you. Let’s ride off into the sunset together, on the back of a Unicorn, galloping upon a rainbow. My Little Pony FTW!

    • Claire March 30, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

      Can we put GLITTER in our hair??

  4. Anne-Mhairi Simpson March 30, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    You had me at “ironically appreciated” but when I got to “majestic hair” I got down on my knees and wept. Hereby giving thanks to whoever it may be that gave the world unicorns (because, yes, of course they exist) and you.

    Unicorn Loverz 4 Eva!!

    Boycott Mark Wahlberg. Down with the unicorn traitor!!

    • Claire March 30, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

      People who deny the existence of unicorns have no soul.

      *hugs*

  5. Bryce March 30, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    LOL Currently remembering the time Starr and I watched The Last Unicorn in college and we both went WTF??

    • Claire March 30, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

      That movie is cool or whatever but in NO WAY does justice to the book. That book is just…I can’t even. <3

      • Bryce March 31, 2011 at 6:47 pm #

        heh. I do not doubt that is doesn’t do the book justice. They hardly ever do. There were just some moments in the movie that made you do a double-take. Or it did me at the time. :)

  6. Lari July 27, 2011 at 3:35 pm #

    Dear Ninja Librarian,

    Aye, unicorns be awesome! I have a thing for pirates personally. This inspired me to do a page about pirates on my site. (As of right now, there is a picture of me piratey self on my about page).

    Yer Arch Nemesis,

    Pirate Librarian

  7. Jill K August 31, 2011 at 7:48 pm #

    they claim unicorns don’t exist, but they CLEARLY do. how else do you explain rinos??

  8. Jill K August 31, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    now they’re talking about unicorns making sparkly glue! OMG!!! DOWN WTH UNICORN TRAITORS!!! this is a travesty!!!!!!!

  9. Matt Duncan September 25, 2012 at 8:12 pm #

    lol u told us about that today! so how’s the unicorn doin?

  10. ttescurel August 23, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

    Tell me you play Robot Unicorn Attack… (1, not 2, With the volume on, because robot unicorns with rainbow manes love Erasure’s Always).

  11. Alie Lory October 1, 2013 at 2:52 pm #

    I’m fairly positive you’re the most amazing, fantastic, ridiculously perfect person I’ve met in my life and I want to grow up to be as happy as you are. You’re my role model, and I LOVE YOU MOST TIMES INFINITY.

  12. princess of unicorns!!! December 3, 2013 at 5:40 am #

    I <3 unicorns please post more

  13. michellejoycebond January 17, 2014 at 8:45 pm #

    Hilarious! Makes me think of Ke$ha’s video, “Blow”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFWX0hWCbng

  14. Jessie March 10, 2014 at 9:12 pm #

    UNICORNS RULE💗💗💗💗💗

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