Y’all, I’m pretty scared about moving to New York.
I’m excited, too, don’t get me wrong. But, oh my god. The closer it gets to moving day, the more I find myself thinking, “So, you realize you’re crazy, right?”
Rationally, I know it’s not crazy, this move. People do it all the time. Even people who, like me, have only ever lived in one place and for whom picking up and moving is not a matter of “Ugh, I’ve got to get AWAY from this place, I HATE it,” and more a matter of “I want to try this. I’m going to miss home and my family and friends — DEEPLY — but I want to try this. I have to.” It’s not that I don’t like my home. No. I just want to see what else is out there.
And that’s great and all, but it also makes it much harder to leave. I’m not running from something; I’m running toward something, and that’s much more difficult to do.
So, I’ve found myself driving a lot lately, since I’m selling my car and won’t have easy access to one in the city. I love driving. Love it. I love racing down the highway (smartly, of course; I’m an excellent driver
; I buy my underwear at K-Mart) and letting the wind run through my hair, or singing at the top of my lungs, or cranking up my favorite Hans Zimmer score and letting my brain percolate some story ideas. I love driving for miles under a big Texas sky.
Below are some of the songs I’ve been listening to, because the car is one of the few places I’m allowing myself to get emotional over leaving because, you know, I HAVE A BOOK TO WRITE, and also, I’ve got to get in the wild highway singing while I can:
And then, for a change of pace (and when I feel like avoiding the danger of crying while driving), I’ve been listening to a lot of Hans Zimmer’s Angels & Demons score lately. The problem is it makes me want to drive like ninety miles per hour. I cannot emphasize enough the dramatic WONDROUSNESS of this music. Add a little epic to your day:
Just . . . just go to like 5:40 in on “Air,” the track below. Just do it.
You want to go driving and crank it up now, don’t you?