Fear & Highway Driving

7 Feb

Y’all, I’m pretty scared about moving to New York.

I’m excited, too, don’t get me wrong. But, oh my god. The closer it gets to moving day, the more I find myself thinking, “So, you realize you’re crazy, right?”

Rationally, I know it’s not crazy, this move. People do it all the time. Even people who, like me, have only ever lived in one place and for whom picking up and moving is not a matter of “Ugh, I’ve got to get AWAY from this place, I HATE it,” and more a matter of “I want to try this. I’m going to miss home and my family and friends — DEEPLY — but I want to try this. I have to.” It’s not that I don’t like my home. No. I just want to see what else is out there.

And that’s great and all, but it also makes it much harder to leave. I’m not running from something; I’m running toward something, and that’s much more difficult to do.

So, I’ve found myself driving a lot lately, since I’m selling my car and won’t have easy access to one in the city. I love driving. Love it. I love racing down the highway (smartly, of course; I’m an excellent driver; I buy my underwear at K-Mart) and letting the wind run through my hair, or singing at the top of my lungs, or cranking up my favorite Hans Zimmer score and letting my brain percolate some story ideas. I love driving for miles under a big Texas sky.

Below are some of the songs I’ve been listening to, because the car is one of the few places I’m allowing myself to get emotional over leaving because, you know, I HAVE A BOOK TO WRITE, and also, I’ve got to get in the wild highway singing while I can:

And then, for a change of pace (and when I feel like avoiding the danger of crying while driving), I’ve been listening to a lot of Hans Zimmer’s Angels & Demons score lately. The problem is it makes me want to drive like ninety miles per hour. I cannot emphasize enough the dramatic WONDROUSNESS of this music. Add a little epic to your day:

Just . . . just go to like 5:40 in on “Air,” the track below. Just do it.

You want to go driving and crank it up now, don’t you?

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6 Responses to “Fear & Highway Driving”

  1. deniz February 7, 2012 at 10:54 am #

    Oh lovely! Neil Young *and* David Gray!
    You’re that much closer to me up in Montreal – come up for bagels! Smoked meat! Poutine! Maple syrup!

  2. Beth K February 7, 2012 at 11:01 am #

    Unlike you, I HATE driving, and the decrease in stress over not owning a car and not dealing with driving is huge for me. However, I totally understand where you’re coming from. Pretty sure I blasted Narnia for months in the good old Bethmobile/Hiro. I can’t wait for our girls’ weekend soon! :) YAYYYYYY!!!!!!

  3. Lorrie P. February 7, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    As a Canadian like Deniz, I highly recommend everyone of her food suggestions….you can’t go wrong. I have to say I’m partial to Montreal style bagels and poutine though….gotta love those carbs!!!!! :-)

    • deniz February 7, 2012 at 2:32 pm #

      Montreal bagels rule :-)

  4. Lauren Garafalo February 7, 2012 at 11:43 am #

    Aww Claire! I love to drive too and would definitely miss it, but you’ll acclimate in time. I know so many people that find it freeing when they move to the city and can just take the subway or a cab where they need to go and not have to worry about parking. You may not be able to crank your car radio up, but I bet you’ll find all new adventures in being THAT girl…always with the ipod that sings to herself, sometimes wiggles in way that might be a dance move, definitely spotted conducting an invisible orchestra. No? Ok, well that would absolutely be my if I lived in NYC :D Have an amazing drive!!

  5. Melinda VanLone February 7, 2012 at 1:00 pm #

    I know how scary it is to move across country. You’ll have intense culture shock, coming from Texas. But…it’ll be exciting too! And I highly recommend for everyone, absolutely everyone, to move away from home and go live somewhere they’ve never been before. Preferably with no family around. You find out exactly who you are and what you’re made of doing that. PLUS, you get to see how “they” do things over there. It’s so eye opening! Everyone should travel. There’d be a lot less hate in the world if they did, I’m convinced. At any rate, I’ve been there, done that and you will do great! And even though you are giving up your car, they have car-sharing programs there should you feel the urge to go for a drive. Look it up! It’s called Zip Cars in Philly, not sure what they call it in NYC. Oh, and take a train to Philly! Play tourist, it’s an awesome place to visit. Don’t live there…just visit lol. ;-)

    Good luck in your new adventure! You’ll do great :-D

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