How To Not Go Crazy While Waiting For Stuff

7 Dec

Every now and then, we have to wait for something.

Waiting for stuff comes with the territory of, you know, being alive. We might have just gone through an intense period of waiting. We might be waiting right now. We might be about to EMBARK upon an intense period of waiting (and sublimating the dread through procrastinatory browsing on YouTube that ends when you wind up at the videos of elephants mating and think, in horror, and also perhaps with a twinge of perverse fascination, “HOW DID MY LIFE COME TO THIS?”*)

*Not that I have done this or anything.

This whole “waiting” thing is about as much fun as an ulcer in your gut. In fact, it could lead to an ulcer in your gut if you’re not careful.

But you know what? It’s going to happen.

You could be a writer waiting to hear back from an agent or a critique partner, or at work waiting to hear about a family member’s medical diagnosis, or a student waiting for your professor to calculate your final grade, or maybe it’s December and you thought Game of Thrones was going to come out on Blu-ray in time for the holidays but then realized that NO IT ISN’T, not until March — but no matter who you are, the waiting will happen, and it will not be fun.

So, how do we endure it?

Well, luckily, UNICORN and I have put together a handy list of activities that you can undertake INSTEAD OF thinking about how all this waiting is driving you crazy.

#1 – Take a bath!

#2 – Pretend you’re a velociraptor!

#3 – Ride a tandem bicycle!

#4 – Have a folding party!

#5 – Go on a search for unicorns!

#6 – Practice your English accent on unsuspecting strangers!

#7 – Play dress-up!

#8 – Watch YouTube videos of elephants mating!

#8 – Host a pancake contest!

#9 – Learn a foreign language!

#10 – Do something nice for someone else!

See? There are so many delightful things to do in the world! Even so, it’s easy to fall into that trap of agonizing over things we can’t control, the trap of focusing so narrowly on our inbox, our anxieties, on what we can’t quite reach — or, perhaps even more maddeningly, what we can’t quite reach YET — that we lose ourselves.

Anticipation becomes obsession. The adrenaline of something approaching on the horizon becomes the nausea of willing that something to hurry up already.

We get grumpy, we forget to take care of ourselves, we conjure up disasters and crises out of thin air.

“No response” becomes “no thank you.”

The silent phone, the empty inbox, the closed door become taunts, ridicules, cruel renunciations.

Our days become quiet, sallow, stretched thin between too many jangling, abused nerves.

We analyze things we shouldn’t, things that mean nothing. We might even start to feel a little bit nuts.

But none of this is necessary. There will always be frustration and anxiety when it comes to waiting. But you know what?

Waiting can be comforting.

Think about it: You’ve done all you can do. You’re waiting because, whatever your part was to play in this project, this interaction, this task, you have completed it. It’s not your turn anymore; it’s someone else’s turn, and no matter what you do, you can’t force that someone to make their move. That’s their universe, not yours.

So, the next time we find ourselves waiting for something, let’s try using this time of waiting, this downtime, to treat ourselves. It’s a chance for luxury, for opportunity. We can relax. We can start a new project. We can reconnect with a friend, cook that recipe we’ve always wanted to try, catch up on rest and exercise, or on a favorite television show.

Let’s stop waiting on the waiting.

After all, if we stay busy enough, it won’t seem like waiting at all.

~*~

If you liked this, you might also be interested in

Y’all, Please Remember To Shower (in which UNICORN and I remind us all to take care of ourselves)

Keep Calm and Write Your Damn Book (in which UNICORN and I warn against The Vortex of Doubt and Self-Loathing)

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15 Responses to “How To Not Go Crazy While Waiting For Stuff”

  1. Kaitlin December 7, 2011 at 2:14 am #

    Oh my god you are amazing. This reminds me of hyperbole and a half, a blog I am very much in love with. Folloooooooowed.

  2. Trisha Leigh December 7, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    You are hilarious and awesome. I agree, waiting can make a person crazy. *twitches* Not that I’d know from experience. :)

    Seriously, good suggestions. I like to catch up on TV, see new movies, start a new project, or critique for other people.

  3. Lauren December 7, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    This made me laugh so hard, THANK YOU for the morning giggles. And, of course, the wisdom. *huggles*

  4. Pandora Swift December 7, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    Terrific, lovely post! You lifted my spirits. I equate WAITING with PERSEVERANCE in spite of no measuable progress. You make WAITING sound almost delightful! Other suggestions for WAITING: Take lots of walks with your favorite four-footers, brush each other’s hair, and READ!

  5. Mandy Siefken December 7, 2011 at 10:50 am #

    Your art skills crack me up! :)

  6. Rebekah Loper December 7, 2011 at 11:02 am #

    I love Unicorn pretending to be a tree . . . hehe. Thank you for making me laugh, it’s already been a tough day and it’s not even noon yet >_<.

  7. Kendra December 7, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    You brilliant, lovely lady…I so needed to hear this today. And with Unicorn, no less! Everything you say is so true. When I get wound up, I try (operative word) to tell myself, “6 months from now will this matter? What else will I be doing.” The long-range focus takes be out of the now and I understand this too shall pass.

    Hugs! *pets unicorn*

  8. Jaye Robin Brown December 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm #

    Smashing unicorn – the art teacher approves.

    And waiting. I’m waiting. Maybe I should pull up paint on the computer and see if it fixes the problems with waiting. Waiting. Bleh.

  9. K. Marie Criddle December 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm #

    SO STINKING BRILLIANT. Thank you so much for this! I have never seen a happier unicorn than the one in front of the pancakes. I’m off to make pancakes and wait on stuff. Happily.

  10. reutreads December 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

    This is so accurate and funny! I will definitely be doing some of these things in the future.

  11. abby mumford December 9, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    i love this post oh so very much.

  12. C D Meetens December 12, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

    I love your pictures! They’re adorable, and they made me laugh, so thank you!

  13. Starr Hoffman December 15, 2011 at 2:12 am #

    i love Unicorn so much. Unicorn fills me with rainbows and giggles.

  14. Laura W. December 15, 2011 at 7:50 pm #

    Ack! I laughed at the Game of Thrones part, because guess what I was super-excited about for Christmas…at least my birthday’s in March. :P

    In the mean time, I shall embark on a quest for unicorns.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. It’s Okay To Blog Yourself « Claire Legrand - January 30, 2012

    [...] If you’re blogging and you’re not having fun with it, if you’re not getting some kind of pleasure out of putting that content out there and interacting with the people who view it, you’re doing it wrong. Blogging is helpful (it makes us better writers!), it’s social (it helps us make new friends!), it’s a creative outlet (it gives us a venue in which to draw poorly rendered unicorn pictures!). [...]

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